If you want something, go get it! Right? Well, not exactly. While chasing your goal relentlessly might seem like the best strategy for success (and is probably what everyone in your life from your parents to your 4th grade teacher to your therapist have advised you to do), it’s actually going to impede your chances of attaining what you desire. That’s because chasing your goals puts you in a depowering state.
Whether you’re looking for genuine love, increased wealth, your dream job, good health, or just your ideal life, there is a straightforward way of getting what you want, and it doesn’t involve exhausting yourself in pursuit of them. Today I want to talk to you more about the law of attraction and how effortless it can be to simply attract what you want TO you. I know we’ve covered this in the past in articles about manifestation and law of attraction affirmations, but today I want to tell you very plainly how to attract what you want and why you need to stop chasing.
What is a Depowered State?
A depowered state is a state of lower vibrational frequency. You move into a depowered state when you chase what you want because when you are chasing something there is desperation in your energy signature. In a depowered state you are not attracting what you desire – you are actually pushing it further away from yourself.
Desperation drags your frequency lower, and you want to be operating from a place of high vibration in order to attract the things you desire. The higher your vibration, the more aligned you are with the good things you want to attract toward yourself. If you are new to this world of vibration, frequency, and mental states, I highly suggest you look at Joe Dispenza’s work. His book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, is fantastic, but if you want a quick primer, his Youtube video here should do the trick.
Reaching a Higher Frequency
You want a new car? Dream job? Dream life? True love? Want to spend more time in healthy relationship and less time in hotel bars? Want to own multiple real estate properties? Want to have a healthy, thin physical body? The answer to all of these is quite simple.
Become the type of person who has your ideal job. Become the type of person your ideal partner would want to fall in love with. Become the kind of person who devotes time to relationships, communication, and self-healing, in order to attract and develop healthy relationships in your life. Become a real estate investor. Become the type of person who is thin and health-conscious. To attain something, simply change yourself to become like the person who would have the things you want.
Everything you are right now is by choice. Probably only 2% of it by conscious choice. All your life, you didn’t realize you had the power to decide who you were. You were mindlessly shaped by the people around you – who you were family told you you were, teachers, bosses, friends, coworkers, strangers on the street – they spoke words into you and tried to say who you were, and you believed them. Imagine, if instead of listening to what other people said you were, you decided for yourself who you are.
It sounds crazy at first. But it’s the easiest and most fulfilling thing you do can for yourself. Lay down all your preexisting beliefs about yourself. Ignore the self-limiting beliefs. Abandon the qualities that you aren’t happy with. It’s time to remake yourself into someone you love, adore, and cherish.
Intentionally deciding who you are immediately changes your vibrational frequency. Then, altering your behaviors and then habits to align with who you’ve defined yourself to be, will raise your frequency even higher. Positive affirmations play an integral role in attracting your desires, but before you can effectively write manifestation affirmations and develop a quality practice of manifestation, you must first lay the foundation by deciding who you are, and aligning everything about yourself to that new persona.
This tiktok video featuring a short clip of Joe Dispenza talking about how our emotions and thoughts create our reality, is truly the most important thing you could watch when it comes to understanding how this all works. He explains that “Thoughts are the electrical charge in the quantum field. And feelings produce a magnetic charge in the quantum field. How you think and how you feel broadcasts electromagnetic energy that influences every single atom in your life.” It’s a short clip that may lead you down a deeper rabbit hole and I highly suggest you check it out. You have a vast depth of inner power – you only need to realize it.
How Can Positive Affirmations Help Me Attract What I Want?
Positive affirmations are a powerful way of drawing upon source energy to create exactly what you want in your life. By routinely making positive statements about what you want, you create your desired outcome.
Think of all the times you told yourself something bad would happen. That you would fail tomorrow’s test. That you would flub the job interview. That you would get sick. That you would mess something up or say the wrong thing. I’m guessing that most of the time, when you thought you’d mess up and you envisioned it happening and you spoke about it aloud, you probably DID mess up. Our words have power. Incredible power. We can use them for positive or negative. Everything we think, and especially everything we say aloud, has rippling effects.
Instead of allowing your mind to be overrun with negative thoughts and negative emotions, flip the script. If you’re an overly negative person, this may feel unnatural at first. But if you want to attract good things into your life, you must become someone who vibrates at a similar frequency as those good things that you want. Negativity shuts you down. It prevents you from being open to receiving what source can offer you. Too much negativity and low vibrational frequency will ensure there are no positive, amazing things being routed to you.
What’s the Best Way to Write Positive Affirmations?
The key is using “I am” statements, or “I have” statements. You always write the statements in the present tense, as though you already have what you desire. When you’ve determine who you want to be at your core, the I am statements will come naturally. For example, I was often told by everyone in my life that I was a “people pleaser”. I believed this and often sought evidence in my life to validate it. The result was that I believed it about myself, so I continue to behave that way, often at great detriment to myself, as I was constantly putting others needs before my own. I felt helpless to change it, because I firmly believed this was just WHO I was. I was a people pleaser. So this is how I act. This is how I suffer.
But with mindset work I was able to see that I don’t have to believe something about myself just because other people tell it to me. I can decide, at my core, that I love and take care of myself. That I am generous, but I put myself first. Therefore, when writing positive affirmations to help align my mind, body, and physical world with this new version of myself, I would write something like this in my manifestation journal:
- I am kind and loving to myself
- I put my needs first
- I am becoming so generous with myself
- I am loving myself and then pouring into others
I’ll give you another example that may resonate with you. Over the years of motherhood I sometimes I find myself being resentful of all the things I “have to do”, day in and day out. Feelings of overwhelm and resentment can lead to a lack of empathy and patience with my kids. I don’t want to be a stressed out mama. I don’t want to impatient. I don’t want to be the crazy, stressed out mom. I don’t want that kind of relationship with my family. In fact, I fully believe that my kids deserve the opposite – a centered, present, emotionally available, fun, silly, mom. And you know what? I also deserve to be that mom, for myself. So I started by deciding what kind of mom I wanted to be, and now I tell myself I AM that mom. I say it in the car when I’m driving, in the kitchen while I’m making dinner, in the playroom when I’m cleaning up toys for the 7th time that day. And in my journal, I write my affirmations like this:
- I am such a fun, playful mom.
- I am lighthearted. I let things go so I can have fun.
- I am the mom who loves serving her family. It brings me joy.
- I am such an amazing mom.
- I am so proud of myself for staying patient and present with my kids today.
- I am so proud of myself for getting all the housework done, making our meals, and spending time with my babies. I am capable of SO MUCH!
Pro tip: Be your biggest fan. Be your own cheerleader. Tell yourself you’re proud of yourself. Tell yourself you’re amazing. Notice the small things you do and cheer about it!
When I start to feel resentment kicking in, when maybe I’m switching the laundry after a long day and those old negative thoughts start banging on the door to tell me how much I do and how I’m a victim of my own circumstance, and how nobody does as much as I do… my affirmations come directly to my mind to war with the negative ideas. My positive self-talk goes to bat for me. And over time, it becomes easier and easier to not even have the negative thoughts at all.
And now, after deciding I AM AN AMAZING MOM and using affirmative I AM statements in my manifestation practice, guess what? I AM AN AMAZING MOM. Notice I didn’t say perfect. Because I never will be. But I am actually amazing. I believe I was amazing before, but I wasn’t noticing it. I wasn’t claiming it as part of my identity.
If you don’t feel worthy of love, the universe will not bring you love. If you believe, in your soul, that you will never experience unconditional love, you won’t ever experience it. If you believe only rich people can drive a nice car and that you can never be rich, you’ll never drive a nice car. The universe gives you what it believes you are. It doesn’t give you something that isn’t in alignment with you are at your core.
Stop Chasing. Start Attracting.
To get what you want, you must become someone new. You must believe you are the type of person who has the things you want to have.
The very first thing you must do is set very clear intentions about your own identity. Get an understanding of who you currently see yourself as, and then determine who you want to be. Then, start being that person.
Do you weigh 200lbs but want to weight 150lbs? Think about how a 150lb person acts. What do they eat? How do they move? What is their routine? How do they carry themselves? How do they feel about their body when they put on their favorite outfit? Analyze what that person would do and then immediately start being that person. If you determined that a 150lb person doesn’t eat pizza five nights a week, you’re going to feel really uncomfortable, in your soul, eating pizza five nights a week if you are truly identifying as a 150lb person.
If you want to be wealthy, the biggest impedance to your goal is your identity. Right now, you believe you are poor. Therefore, your actions align with the actions of a poor person. So no matter how many extra hours you work or side hustles you start, you’re going to remain poor, because that is what you believe about yourself.
Stop chasing. You don’t have to work harder. You need to work smarter. Redefine yourself and integrate into your very being, the identity of whatever kind of person you want to become – a loving and cheerful wife, a strong supportive husband, a wealthy entrepreneur, a fit and thin person, a fun and present mom. You can be anything you want by simply deciding to be it. Try it. Slow down, and work on the inside. Stop chasing things outside yourself, and instead fine tune your identity to receive what you want from the universe. You will be amazed at the results.